DADS STRAIN AT CUSTODY CHAINS

Monday, August 31, 1998, By ELAINE MOYLE,

They're angry men who feel their right to be active fathers is being ripped away.

"Deadbolt dads" -- separated and divorced fathers who claim the courts grant them too little time with their kids -- are banding together through support and political groups to vent their frustrations.

During the past year, they've seized the opportunity to express their outrage to a government panel -- the Joint Senate-Commons Committee on Child Custody and Access -- researching the issue through national hearings.

The plight of these "locked-out" fathers is all-too familiar to Deborah Powell, acting president of Fathers Are Capable Too, an organization that rallies for the rights of children and non-custodial parents (primarily dads).

"They're devastated because they're not only losing a partner, they're losing their kids," says Powell, a single mom who became a supporter of fathers' rights after rallying behind her brother during his custody dispute.

Deadbolt dads are frustrated by a court system that, according to Powell, shoves parents "into adversarial roles that ultimately end up hurting their children and themselves. "Instead of saying 'hallelujah, we are still two people who love our children,' parents are thrown into a win/lose situation where the winner takes all.

There's no incentive for negotiation or compromise." In most cases, Powell adds, women are victorious -- earning custodial parent status because they're still regarded "as nurturers while men are providers."

The government committee, headed by Sarnia Liberal MP Roger Gallaway and Senator Anne Cools, will table its response in a reform bill by Nov. 30. Clearly impacted by testimony from deadbolt dads about the financial and emotional trauma they've endured, Gallaway says he's particularly disturbed by allegations that women gain custody of children by claiming abuse without providing actual proof.

"The Divorce Act is suddenly becoming an instrument of the Criminal Code," he told The Sun. Senator Cools is suggesting lawyers be held accountable for knowingly filing false allegations. But Kaarina Pakka, co-founder of MAFIA (Mothers Against Fathers In Arrears), says, regrettably, "mind games" are played by both sides during custody hearings.

"There's always an element of disturbed, angry people," she says. "Unfortunately, you can't legislate good behavior." Meanwhile, figures released by Statistics Canada indicate fathers are getting more access to their children. In 1995, 5,128 men were awarded custody, up 444 from the previous year.

Conversely, 31,847 women became custodial parents in 1995, representing a drop of 1,317 from 1994. Joint custodies climbed from 9,752 in 1994 to 10,062 in 1995. It's a trend embraced by men's groups whose growing fraternity is creating a thriving political force.

"The tide is changing," says Neil Campbell of Dads Canada Initiative. "We're getting a lot of calls from men who are involved in their children's lives and want help fighting their way through litigation issues ... It's becoming very clear that we have to become more sensitive to the father/child relationship." Jim Hodgins, chairman of the Committee for Fairness in Family Law, agrees.

"Throughout North America and some other countries, there's a growing consciousness of the numbers of children who have been impacted by separation from a parent -- specifically denial of access," he says. "We still have governments and (legal) structures that don't yet recognize the importance of contact with both parents." Hodgins, who shares custody of his three children with his ex-wife, says although women "want a guy who can give and receive love," men who truly care about their kids are regularly denied custody in the majority of divorce cases. "We need a situation where kids are at the centre of the universe," Hodgins says.

Meanwhile, Stacy Robb, president of Dads Canada, points out legal injustices facing parents who default on child support payments. There have been cases in which unscrupulous employers kept garnisheed wages earmarked for child support while shutting down their companies. "Fathers (and mothers) are still obligated to pay the money so, in fact, they pay twice." The province's seizure of driver's licences from non-paying parents is unconstitutional, Robb insists, because it often renders the worker non-employable. "The Ministry of the Attorney General's office is suspending licenses without proper notice," he says. "Many people are notified after the fact."

But Pakka of MAFIA says she's skeptical about such claims: "It's so easy to say there's a lack of notification, blaming the postal system or the fact you receive large volumes of mail." Robb, like other advocates of dads' rights, blames the courts for the woes afflicting deadbolt dads. "We've got to take the profit out of divorce," he says. "The legal system isn't designed to deal with this problem in an effective matter ... Men are frustrated by a system that isn't user-friendly."

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